Why Writing Comedy Can Feel Like Pure Torture

As a comedy writer, I often find myself in the peculiar position of simultaneously loving and loathing my job. It’s like dating a cactus: it’s prickly and painful, but let’s be honest, your friends totally want to hear about it. Writing comedy is that unforgiving creature that continually promises laughs while frequently delivering pain, self-doubt, and existential crises, like trying to argue with a houseplant that just stares at you in deadpan silence. So, why is writing comedy like daring to juggle knives? Let’s explore ten reasons why it can feel like pure torture, yet somehow remains incredibly rewarding—if you survive the experience.

1. The Blank Page is a Black Hole

Imagine prepping for a date and finding out the only conversation starter you had in mind has vanished into thin air. That’s what staring at a blank page feels like. Your creative juices, which are supposed to flow effortlessly like a well-mixed cocktail, seem to dry up faster than a wet napkin on a hot summer day. “What do I write? Will people actually laugh? Should I just give up and take up knitting instead?” These are the anxiety-fueled thoughts racing through a comedian’s mind. The blank page can swallow your hopes whole, leaving you emotionally adrift. Except it’s also totally unavoidable—because let’s face it, avoiding the blank page is like ignoring a cactus in your living room. You can try, but you’ll always end up pricked.

2. The Rewriting Slog

Writing one joke feels like climbing a mountain; rewriting is akin to trying to climb that same mountain but now with a bag of angry raccoons on your back. You will write, rewrite, and rewrite again until your original punchline qualifies as an ancient artifact. Seriously, I’ve rewritten one joke so many times that it deserves its own ‘before’ and ‘after’ photos for an infomercial. Trust me, folks, if you can write a whole novel in the time it takes to craft a decent punchline, you might be in the wrong profession.

3. Learning from Failure

“Hey, remember last week when I tried to make everyone laugh with that cringeworthy joke about airport security? Well, I’ve learned my lesson!” Welcome to the life of a comedic artist, where failures are not just common—they’re practically mandatory. Every stand-up session, every submitted sketch, and every tweet that bombs serves as a humbling reminder of your humanity. Believe me, nothing will make you question your career choices quite like having an audience stare at you like you’re the punchline of a very bad joke. But fear not! Each flop you endure is just a step toward greatness; they’re the delightful scars that make us funny!

4. Hearing Crickets

Ever delivered a joke that is met with absolute silence? It’s like bringing a corgi to a cat convention. You think it’ll go well, and instead, everyone pretends they need to use the restroom. Hearing crickets is like being zapped by a silent judgment beam from the universe. Why did I think this would be funny? Did I really just ask how a penguin gets dressed? Every comedy writer has that moment that makes them reassess their life choices. But here’s the kicker: It’s also when you discover your real audience! Finding the right crowd is like realizing you’ve been scrolling through the wrong Tinder profile: you need compatibility, not awkward silence.

5. Obsessing Over Word Choice

Words are crucial in comedy, but let’s face it, I’m pretty sure even Shakespeare never felt this kind of pain. It’s akin to dissecting an orange with a chainsaw: there are far too many options, and if you choose wrong, it could end up messy and distressing. The process can lead you spiraling into the depths of a thesaurus, losing precious hours down the rabbit hole of syllables. “Should I say ‘funny’ or ‘hilarious’? Does ‘hilarious’ sound pretentious? What about ‘side-splitting’? Could that terminology legally be classified as hyperbole?” What began as a simple joke can morph into an hours-long existential debate on whether ‘guffaw’ is the correct word choice. Here’s a tip: If you find yourself doubting ‘funny,’ just remember that it’s still a more comfortable option than coming up with an appropriate term for ‘bad joke.’

6. Riding the Emotional Rollercoaster

Every comedy writer knows that writing can feel like an emotional yo-yo. One minute, you’re ecstatic as you land the perfect punchline. The next, you’re deep in a pit of despair because that punchline was utterly rejected. It’s a ride full of ‘ooh’s and ‘ouch’s that could rival a theme park. The highs can boost you into the clouds, and the lows could bury you in a pile of existential dread. That’s right—one awful set can rip your heart out and stomp on it while you question all your life choices. But when it finally clicks, the triumph is delicious. Writing comedy is like falling in love—except instead of a diamond ring, you get a hilarious joke that goes viral and that’ll last about eight minutes before it’s too dated.

7. People Expect You to be Funny on Demand

Do you know what’s amazing? People expect you to *always* be funny just because you dabble in comedy. It’s like being a magician but with way fewer rabbits and a lot more awkward silences. Suddenly you’re at a party when someone asks, “Hey, tell us a joke!” Oh, the pressure! It’s as if someone whipped out a spotlight and demanded a perfect performance on the spot. Imagine swapping out your favorite bubble bath for a tank of sharks, as spectators eagerly anticipate the joys of your immediate comedic genius. Spoiler alert: If they knew you were stalling to come up with something decent, they’d probably throw you cake for some more uplifting entertainment.

8. The Constant Comparisons

“Wow, can you believe the latest Netflix special?” If I had a dollar for every time someone compared my potential stand-up to a famous comedian, I could probably hire my own personal yoga instructor to pull me out of this self-loathing spiral! Comedy writers face an avalanche of comparisons. Whether it’s scrolling through social media or hearing jokes by legends like Chappelle or prior McHale, every new masterpiece serves as a stark reminder of what we’re not. It’s the unavoidable burden of sharing the comedic universe with brilliant people! Writing is hard enough without feeling the weight of their accomplishments pressing down on your shoulders like a really uncomfortable snowman.

9. The Fear of Being Too Cliché

Want to know what every comedian secretly fears? Repeating a joke that’s been told a million times already. The quest for originality is tough when there are only so many anecdotal fart jokes in the world. For a writer, avoiding clichés can feel like an Olympic sport. You can train for hours but still slip into a well-worn punchline, and suddenly, it’s as if someone released the cringe hounds. “Jokes about relationships? Ugh, so done.” The quest for novelty leads you to dig deeper and deeper into your own identity and personal experiences, and let me tell you, that’s scary. Cue the existential dread combined with hilariously awkward recounts of your last date.

10. The Joy that Keeps You Coming Back

Now that we’ve raked through the coals of emotional trauma, let’s embrace the silver lining: humor itself! Because with every challenge comes a unique reward. The elation of finally crafting that perfect punchline is like the climax of a rom-com where everything finally clicks into place. You learn, adapt, and grow as a writer even when it feels more torturous than fun. For every painful rewrite, there’s the memory of laughter bouncing off the crowd. For every moment of crippling self-doubt, there’s the ability to make someone’s day just a bit brighter. Ahh, the irresistible joy of making people laugh is the magnet that pulls us back in, no matter how contentious the journey. There’s simply no better feeling than watching strangers unexpectedly crack up at your joke, and nothing can compare to that rush!

To wrap things up, writing comedy is an emotional rollercoaster fraught with challenges, rewritten jokes, and comparisons that will make you reconsider your life choices at least half a dozen times. But in the end, the thrill of crafting humor easily outweighs the pain. So the next time you pour your heart into a punchline, just remember it’s all part of the glorious chaos that is comedic writing. And if it all feels too much, hey, just grab a cactus and find solace in the prickling pain—at least in writing comedy, the only permanent scars you bear are those you can share on stage for laughs!