Let’s be honest:
Some days, “inhale confidence, exhale doubt” just doesn’t cut it.
What you really need is a mantra that makes you laugh and get out of bed.
Something less self-help, more self-aware.
Something that says, “Yes, I’m doing my best — and yes, I’m also holding on by a thread made of iced coffee and spite.”
So here are a few funny mantras built for real life — and especially Mondays.
☕ 1. “I am the calm in the chaos. Unless there’s traffic. Then I’m chaos in the chaos.”
For the morning commute warriors who meditate at red lights and scream during lane merges.
💸 2. “Abundance flows to me. But so do overdraft emails.”
Manifestation meets capitalism. Add to cart and breathe through it.
🛋️ 3. “I deserve rest. I just don’t know what to do with it when I get it.”
Perfect for anyone who cancels plans and then immediately regrets it.
📱 4. “I am present. I am grounded. I am… accidentally scrolling for 45 minutes.”
A mindfulness mantra for the terminally online.
🎭 5. “Today, I release all that no longer serves me. Except petty grudges. I keep those for sport.”
Letting go is powerful. So is revenge. Balance, baby.
Why These Work (And Why They Matter)
Humor has a sneaky way of getting through. It bypasses resistance, lowers cortisol, and reminds you:
You’re not broken. You’re just awake in this timeline.
And that’s where comedy comes in.
Tuning into a MintComedy stream while reciting “I am one inbox away from a nervous breakthrough” might not solve everything…
But it might shift something.
And sometimes, that’s enough.
Bonus Challenge:
Pick one of these mantras. Write it on a sticky note.
Put it somewhere public — your mirror, your monitor, your microwave.
Then go watch five minutes of stand-up.
Let the laugh rewire you.
