Hilarious Comedy Props You Won’t Believe You Can Actually Buy

Comedy isn’t just about timing, delivery, and a tragic time at the wedding where everything goes wrong – it’s also about the tools! That’s right; if you’re a comedian, sometimes you need to bring out the big guns— or at least the big rubber chicken. And while we all know the classic props like the oversized mallet or the whoopee cushion are iconic, there are some ridiculously unexpected comedy props out there that not only exist but you can also buy them without needing a secret handshake and a blood oath. Buckle up as we dive into the wild world of outrageous stand-up tools, ridiculous performance gear, and all-around goofy goodies that will have your audience strapped in for a ride of hilarious proportions.

1. The Inflatable Giraffe

Nothing says “I’m an unfunny clown” quite like ushering your audience into a fit of laughter with a massive inflatable giraffe. Yes, that’s correct! Mixing comedy with an absurdly oversized, inflatable animal might not immediately seem like a traditional choice, but hear me out. Imagine walking onto the stage with this absurd prop beneath your arm, tossing it around like it’s just another tool in your comedy toolbox. It adds a level of spontaneity— and also a complete sense of confusion. Bonus points if you find a way to make the giraffe an integral part of your set. Maybe it’s your long-lost sidekick with a penchant for pretentious puns or the “height” of your set, literally.

Think about it: you could brand yourself as the Giraffe Guy, and suddenly, kids, pet stores, and parents everywhere will be rolling with laughter. Not to mention you can sell inflatable giraffes at your shows once you become a household name. Long story short, run don’t walk to buy yourself an inflatable giraffe. You’ll thank me later when you get recognized as the funniest person on the planet not just because of your jokes, but your gregarious giraffe!

2. Fake Mustaches

You might ask, “Why need a fake mustache?” Well, I would ask you, “Why not?” These little pieces of faux facial hair are like the Swiss Army knife of comedy props. They can instantly transform your look from ordinary human to the most hilariously untrustworthy man in the room. And hey, let’s face it: 80% of us are just one mediocre stand-up gig away from being mistaken for an undercover cop anyway.

Picture this: You’re halfway through your set, and the audience is trying to figure out who you are and why you’re giving a TED Talk on the life issues faced by squirrels. Suddenly, you whip out a fake mustache, slap it on, and switch gears to become an entirely different character. This, friends, is called “going meta.” You might even get mistaken for a dad who’s had one too many “dad jokes” spiked with inability to understand his kids’ slang. Regardless, fake mustaches are versatile, relatively inexpensive, and offer immediate comic relief, transforming even the driest performance into something unforgettably outlandish. Don’t even get me started on the added plus of absurdity if you wear multiple mustaches like an art installation. Talk about comedic layers!

3. The Rubber Chicken (But Make It Musical)

Now, let’s address the classic comedy prop that’s deserving of a place in any performer’s arsenal: the rubber chicken. While some might call it old-school or even a bit played out, I say it’s timeless—like your Aunt Gertrude at a family reunion after eating 12 chocolate chip cookies. But there’s a twist: what if your rubber chicken could play music? Yes, my friends, welcome to the future of laughter! This isn’t just your run-of-the-mill cushy poultry; it’s a multi-faceted, drum set-slaying chicken of fun!

Imagine walking onto the stage, giving your audience a traditional rubber chicken squawk, but then it starts jamming. You don’t just get laughs from the absurdity of a chicken, but you also get the chance to pull off some bizarrely amusing interactive comedy that leaves your audience in stitches. The relentless pecking of laughter becomes part of the show! You can explore genres with the vibe of your chicken: has it been inspired by classical music? A bit of salsa? You could even create an entire musical number around it. So, yes, musical rubber chickens are the “chicken nuggets” of comedy—nuggets that can make you groove!

4. Slapstick Spoons

Have you ever found yourself at a show where the comedy is flowing, but the physical humor is in short supply? Worry no more! Enter slapstick spoons—those instruments of laughter that are the epitome of irony. First, they look ridiculously oversized, which is part of the joke. Second, they’re spoons! Who knew that we’d ever put such fascinating tools into a comedic context? It’s like a crummy culinary class—but funnier!

Slapstick spoons can serve as props for several of your jokes! You could have a failed cooking segment mixed with raw comedy. “Today’s ingredient is banana; we’re going to make a mess—oh wait, that’s not the kitchen!” The misuses and accidental whacks generate genuine laughs. They are surprisingly versatile and give you a more rhythmic approach to physical comedy without the threat of ruining the kitchen’s cleanliness. You might just end up launching a full-on spoon ballet: a different combination of slapstick and an amusing farce all at once! You could even spark a debate on the proper etiquette of “spooning.” Seriously, who wouldn’t want to buy a pair or two of these absurdly oversized items?

5. The Life-Sized Cardboard Cutout of Yourself

 Here’s an idea that takes narcissism to an entirely new level: a life-sized cardboard cutout of yourself! Not only does this serve as an amusing ruse to have your audience chuckle in disbelief, but it doubles the chance of securing your place in the entertainment history books. You walk onto the stage, and instead of a warm-up comedian, there’s a shocking revelation waiting for the audience: “I’m not just a comedian; I have come face to face with myself!” There’s nothing more amusing than the uncomfortable sight of two of you, either physically or existentially!

This could lead to a slew of self-deprecating jokes: “Why do I look so much better on cardboard? Turns out, Photoshop is my true friend!” There’s untapped potential here. By using a life-sized cutout, you can set up hilarious jokes about identity, existential crises, and even the art of self-love alongside the inability to effectively synchronize your timing with an immobile version of yourself. Nor can you ever forget, you can charge people for selfies—a side hustle like no other!

Conclusion

In a world where the pursuit of laughter knows no bounds, sometimes the simplest props can ignite the most unexpected chuckles. These five outrageously hilarious comedy props not only serve as tools for ordinary jokes but also represent a set of whimsical, innovative opportunities to expand your comedic horizons. They weave into the fabric of why we love humor, celebrating the unpredictable nature of play. From inflatable giraffes to life-sized cutouts of your overly confident self, they embody the spirit of comedy: at its core, it’s all about connecting with others in the most absurd ways possible. So go forth! Embrace the humor, enlighten the world, and don’t be afraid to make your audience question their sanity one goofy prop at a time. Because really, who doesn’t want a rubber chicken doing the Macarena in their lives?